3 O’Clock Wednesdays - I am Lilly I am strong

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3 O’clock Wednesdays are for all of us. For you, for me – for every single human being who, every day, breathes in and out the heavy air of trials and tribulations.

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The full 3 O’Clock Wednesday library can be found at the bottom of the page.

Hello Beautiful Friend,

Did you truly see the second word in the sentence above?

BEAUTIFUL. You are beautiful! You are a treasure trove of beautiful insights and gifts to others. Your passions and talents make the world a better place. You are an amazing creation. I want you to lean into your exquisite beautifulness and start to celebrate your ‘you’-ness!

Why Wednesday?

I have a talent of collecting mass amounts of seemingly insignificant trivia. Do I understand quantum physics? No. Do I know how to solve the homeless problem? No – but I do know all the lyrics to “Mama Mia”, and know the year that Roger Federer was born . Not quite on the same level, but these are the kinds of things that I tend to remember.

One bit of trivia that has stuck in my stubborn little brain is an article I read many years ago about a study done on women’s perceptions of self. According to the research, women find themselves to be the most vulnerable and ‘ugly’ at 3:00 on Wednesdays – and I have to admit, I’ve noticed Wednesday afternoons are definitely the low point in the week for me. As a result, I have tried to use that bit of data to be more compassionate to my fellow sisters and try to be intentional about lifting them up on Wednesdays.

Silly? Perhaps.

Or is it?

I don’t remember the details of this study other than they had said that most people stay up later during the weekend having fun; Therefore, they tend to be tired at the beginning of the week. That tiredness catches up to them by Wednesday, which is also the middle of the week – and the weekend still looks very far away. We feel tired, and Friday is the distant future; yes, that is a vulnerable, ugly time.

So what do we do when there aren’t any cheerleaders showering us with compassion at 3 O’clock on Wednesdays? We need to empower ourselves to be our own cheerleaders!

Self-Care Journey

On the road to recovery from betrayal, I have become well-acquainted with the concept of ‘self-care’. Self-care is the intentional, purposeful promotion of healthy well-being. I will talk more about self-care in future posts, but as an overview, categories of self-care include:

Mental
Emotional
Physical
Environmental
Spiritual
Personal
Social
Financial

We tend to overlook self-care as we get caught up in the demands placed on us by work, family, and caregiving non-negotiables (those things that have to get done.) Taking care of our personal well-being gets pushed to the back burner when there is a big project to present at work, or the baby is up all night, or an elderly parent needs a ride to the grocery store. It’s easy to put ourselves last in the long to-do list, but we need to move up to the top of the list. Think of this need like refueling a car; it is necessary, not optional, to get where we want to go. Ignoring this need is harmful and will lead to a major breakdown.

There are lots of phrases that give a visualization of self-care, such as:

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

The wrapping is lovely, but the box is empty.

You can’t light a candle if your match is burnt out.

What does self-care have to do with 3 O’clock Wednesdays?

I have decreed Wednesday (the day when we supposedly feel our ugliest, our most vulnerable, our most ‘yuckiest’), to be the most necessary time to advocate for ourselves through self-care.

Let’s turn this around so that Wednesday at 3:00 will actively create positivity in our life!

Three Things

On Wednesdays at 3:00 I have started to do 3 things. (Do you see the pattern? Three things at three O’clock!)

This is something that takes me five minutes at the most; maybe only three. Three things, at three O’clock, in three minutes. And they can be described in three words:

QUICK – EASY- DOABLE

It seems the times I’m sure to fail at something is when I create impossible goals or hold myself to lofty standards, so for this to be successful, it has to be easy. A new habit is only going to take hold if it is attainable and has positive returns. So here is my Wednesday 3 O’clock recipe for combatting mid-week blues:

Affirmation
Grace
Self-Care

Affirmation

Remember when I called you beautiful? We all have beauty inside us. Take a moment to celebrate the unique beauty of the one and only you. It can be anything that makes you feel good. You can appreciate your quirky sense of humor or jubilant laugh or the fact that you are a generous friend. Maybe you give beauty to the world through your paintings, or good works, or leadership. There is something that resonates beauty deep inside you; celebrate it! Be thankful for it. Take ownership of it. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Grace

This is the hardest one for me – Grace. As a people-pleasing perfectionist, I can give you a long list of my failures and mistakes. But none of us are expected to be perfect. This is the time to give yourself grace about something that is nagging at your conscience: you were a little late getting to work; you snapped at your significant other because you were tired; you ran through that yellow…..well, red light because you were in a hurry. Stop beating yourself up for every little human error you make! Take a moment and say to yourself that today, you are giving yourself grace for being perfectly imperfect.

Self-Care

Self-care is such a critical component to being healthy. Sometimes, in the middle of a hectic week, we might forget to take care of ourselves because our ‘to-do’ list is a mile long. Take a moment now to make a little plan for something you are going to do for yourself during the next week that is all about the self-care of YOU.

Make a plan to call that committee to say ‘no’; you can’t take on that extra duty (while enforcing your boundaries). Plan to ask your kids to help you rake the leaves this weekend so you aren’t stuck doing it alone. Or plan to get to bed earlier tonight so you’ll get some better rest. Or make a hot cup of coffee on Saturday morning and sip it while sitting quietly on the front porch. The list of self-care possibilities is endless….all you have to do is think of one that will bring you a moment of joy.

3 O’clock Wednesdays are all about love

Remember – this should only take five minutes. Don’t make it complicated! Just take a quick moment to:

Appreciate who you are
Give yourself a break on your imperfections
Make your self-care a priority.

This is what I’ve done today:

Appreciate – After some self-reflection, I am celebrating that I am a good mom. I really appreciate how I make my autistic son comfortable and secure in this neuro-typical world.
Grace – I’m not always motivated to clean our home. That’s ok. It doesn’t have to get done today. I’m letting go of that lofty standard for myself.
Self-care – I hung twinkle lights around my bedroom window. Seeing them sparkle fills me with joy. No, I didn’t clean the house, but I did hang up lights that brought happiness to both my son and myself. Win!

Following the big ‘3’ at 3:00 is a solid way to fight off the mid-week blues. I will be posting some encouragement for you every Wednesday to help keep you on track.