Dementia is not my friend, yet it is a companion of mine that demands attention, even in unexpected moments.
Digging through an old recycled shopping bag the other day, I stumbled upon this piece of paper that hit me with a wave of nostalgia and a pinch of heartache—it was a grocery list my mom had written a while back.
Not just any list, but one from the early days of her dementia, a time when the first subtle changes began to show.
The list is simple, with her familiar sloping handwriting a pleasant memory. Yet the uncharacteristic spelling errors and obvious painstaking effort in writing grabbed my attention.
“Apples” brought back memories of laughter and shared moments, a sweetness that hasn’t faded. “Celerey” (misspelled), once just a vegetable, now reminded me of her resilience, standing tall through everything life threw at her.
Check out the companion YouTube podcast The Ultimate Club Sandwich Generation.
Dementia Changes Things
Seeing “pink brinks” and “cho brinks” scribbled down (her version of Ensure drinks), where the spelling veered off course, was a stark reminder of the shift happening in her once precise mind.
“Bananaa,” with an extra ‘a’, somehow made me smile amidst the sadness, a tender reminder of the warmth we still share.
And then there was “nose tissue,” a quirky departure from the “Kleenex” she’d always called it. With its peculiar wordings, this list was a testament to the changes sneaking into our lives, transforming the familiar into something slightly different yet deeply meaningful.
These slips, these small shifts in her writing, were the first signs of the journey dementia was dragging us into. But within these lines, I found a treasure trove of love and memories. Each item, a piece of our shared history, remains a strong link to the woman who’s now navigating through a foggy world.
The Echoes Left From Dementia
My mother is a former teacher. Misspelling the word ‘drink’ would have embarrassed her. But those were the first indications that something was not quite right. A forgotten spelling, a struggle to find a word, an inability to focus her thoughts.
It’s shocking how quickly these tiny mistakes became a symbol for the larger, more profound changes ahead—how quickly spelling errors can lead to needing someone by your side, day and night.
It’s a cruel disorder that robs silently and lingers endlessly.
Yet, this quaint and quirky list has become a cherished keepsake. It’s a snapshot of her, unaffected by the confusion that is overshadowing her once sharp mind.
A Treasure I Will Keep
Holding this list feels like having a piece of her with me, a bridge to the memories we cherish. Despite the encroaching shadows of dementia, this list—a mix of her familiar backward slope combined with the new misspellings and peculiar phrases—carries her spirit, her love, unmistakably strong.
Each item, from the misspelled celerey to the oddly termed “nose tissue,” is imbued with her essence, a voice that guides me through this challenging journey. This grocery list, as mundane as it might seem to others, is my treasure, rich with love and memories. It’s a vivid reminder of the unbreakable bond between us, a bond that not even dementia can erode. It’s a way to keep her close, to remember the joy and love that define our relationship as we navigate this path together.
3 O’Clock Wednesday
This 3 O’Clock Wednesday, I just want to pause for a moment to savor my blessings. It sounds simple, perhaps even contrite, but I have been blessed beyond compare by the woman who raised me. Even if you aren’t affected by the touch of dementia, I urge you to take pause today and relish the rich blessings you’ve enjoyed in your life.
Click to read The Weight of the Ultimate Club Sandwich Generation.
For information regarding dementia and dementia caregivers, click here for the Alzheimer’s Association.
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