Did you know that we all react differently to danger?
Picture this: A wildfire rages nearby, evacuation alerts ping relentlessly, and yet a man casually takes a stroll through the Pacific Palisades to “see what’s going on.” While others flee, he stands with his hands on his hips, calm and unconcerned. (Read the story here.)
Watching from my living room, I wanted to scream, Why aren’t you running?
Why Did He React Differently to Danger?
But then I realized his reaction wasn’t mine, and that’s okay. Not everyone responds to stress or danger the same way. Some of us run, some freeze, and some pause to process.
It’s easy to judge, but instincts are as unique as the people who have them.
This is a truth I’ve had to learn the hard way. For years, I stayed in a toxic marriage, unable to run when the danger was all too real. My fight-or-flight response had been dulled by years of mixed signals and chaos. I told myself I was safe when I wasn’t.
Looking back, I sometimes catch myself thinking, Why didn’t I leave sooner?
Let’s Get Unstuck
But here’s the thing: self-judgment doesn’t heal—it only keeps us stuck.
What does heal is grace:
- Grace for the choices you made when you didn’t have all the answers
- Grace for the moments you froze instead of fled
- Grace for not responding how others insist they would have (after the fact.)
So, this week, I invite you to give yourself grace. Let go of the “should haves” and “what ifs.” Instead, embrace self-care as a way to rebuild trust in yourself. Whether it’s journaling, taking a quiet walk, or setting a boundary, choose something that reminds you of your worth.
Remember, imperfection isn’t failure—it’s growth. And giving yourself grace isn’t weakness—it’s courage.
