Would you run from a fire?
Living near Los Angeles, wildfires are a grim reality, but on Wednesday, January 8th, they hit closer to home than ever. I spent the day glued to a screen, watching in horror as flames devoured landscapes and homes.
The destruction was gut-wrenching. Though the fires were over 30 miles away, their presence felt unnervingly close. Smoke lingered heavy in the air, and charred ash drifted down onto the beach like a haunting reminder of the devastation.
As I took it all in, a single, unexpected question began looping in my mind: Would I run from a fire?
Would You Run From a Fire?
Most people would answer “yes” without hesitation. Self-preservation feels instinctive, like Swiftie fans downloading a new Taylor Swift song the moment it drops.
Running from danger seems like the obvious choice.
Our bodies are wired with a “fight or flight” response. It’s a survival instinct meant to protect us in threatening situations.
But in moments of fear, logic can falter. Instead of running, some freeze, unsure of what to do. It’s a reminder that instincts don’t always guarantee action.
The Guy on the News Wouldn’t Run From a Fire
Watching the live news coverage, I heard heartbreaking stories of loss—lives, homes, and treasured memories reduced to ash. It was impossible not to feel the weight of the tragedy unfolding.
Then, out of nowhere, a man wandered into the camera frame. He looked calm—almost too calm—like he’d stumbled onto the scene by accident. The newscaster, microphone in hand, rushed over and asked what he was doing.
“I keep getting alert after alert on my phone to evacuate because of the fire,” he said, “so I decided to come outside and take a little walk to see what was going on.”
The newscaster’s urgency was palpable. “If you’ve gotten multiple notifications to evacuate, you really should listen to them,” she said, practically pleading with him to run from a fire.
He nodded vaguely, hands on his hips, still surveying the area like he was taking in the weather. Undeterred, the reporter tried again. “This must be a difficult time for everyone in the neighborhood. How are you feeling?”
The man shrugged, “Fine.”
Fine.
A word so bland, so ordinary, you’d expect it in casual small talk—not standing in the shadow of a raging wildfire.
From my side of the screen, I wanted to shake this man by the shoulders and yell, Get out! Run! Save yourself!
Why wasn’t he running from the fire? Didn’t he understand the danger?
Maybe he did. Maybe he understood perfectly. But his fight-or-flight response wasn’t wired like mine. His reaction was just… different.
You Might Not Run From a Fire When Fight or Flight Goes Off Course
The fight-or-flight response is designed to protect us. When faced with danger, our bodies release adrenaline, preparing us to take action. But what happens when that system falters?
For some, like the man on the news, the reaction is delayed. Instead of fleeing, he paused to process the situation—or perhaps to convince himself it wasn’t as serious as it seemed.
For others, faulty instincts develop over time. Chronic stress, trauma, or living in toxic environments can desensitize us to danger. I know this because I’ve lived it.
My Story: Staying Too Long in Danger
For years, I stayed in a toxic marriage. The warning signs were there, but I didn’t act.
Why?
Because my fight-or-flight instincts were skewed. I convinced myself everything was fine, even when it wasn’t.
The chaos became normal. The mixed signals—love paired with manipulation, promises followed by lies—taught me to ignore the danger. I froze when I should have fled, all because my instincts couldn’t distinguish between familiar and safe.
Why Reactions Vary
Society often expects a uniform response to danger: If something hurts you, leave. If there’s a fire, run.
But life isn’t that simple.
Reactions depend on past experiences, mental conditioning, and even cultural expectations. For someone conditioned to trust their abuser or dismiss red flags, running isn’t always an obvious choice.
This doesn’t make them weak or stupid. It makes them human.
Rebuilding Your Instincts
If your fight-or-flight response has been dulled or distorted, you’re not stuck that way forever. Rebuilding instincts takes time, but it’s possible.
Here are the steps that helped me:
- Seek Support: Therapy gave me tools to understand why my instincts failed and how to trust them again.
- Practice Awareness: Mindfulness exercises helped me pause and assess situations logically instead of reacting automatically.
- Set Boundaries: Learning to say “no” to toxic people and environments was transformative. It felt unnatural at first, but over time, it rebuilt my confidence.
- Celebrate Progress: Small victories matter. Recognizing one red flag and acting on it is a step toward reclaiming your instincts.
Embracing Grace
Would you run from a fire? Maybe. Maybe not.
(Read: React Differently to Danger: Lessons From Wildfires & Grace)
The truth is this: instincts are personal, and they don’t always work perfectly. That’s okay. What matters is recognizing when your response isn’t serving you and taking intentional steps to grow.
Give yourself grace for the times you froze. Celebrate the moments you chose to fight or flee. Rebuilding trust in yourself is a journey, but it’s one worth taking.
You’re not defined by how you reacted in the past. What matters is how you rise now.
Read more about rising from the ashes of betrayal at LillyStrong.com
Check out “It’s OK to Skip the New Year’s Resolution: Here’s Why.”
