You know that feeling when life knocks you flat, and you can’t tell which way is up? That’s the messy middle.
It’s the space between heartbreak and healing, between grief and growth — the place where everything feels blurry and you just want the wave to pass.
I’ve been living in that space lately — grief, loss, and everything uncertain. But the thing about waves is, they always move. You just have to wait until they do.
Here are five ways to help you move through your own messy middle:
1. Stop Fighting the Wave
The more you resist, the longer it takes to find your footing.
It’s okay to be sad, angry, tired — to feel what’s real. Let the emotion wash over you instead of pushing it away.
You don’t have to be “over it.” You just have to stay afloat.
2. Anchor Yourself in Something Small
When everything feels too big, shrink your focus.
Light a candle. Take a walk. Call a friend.
Tiny acts of grounding keep you tethered to the present moment — and that’s where healing happens.
3. Rewrite the Story You’re Telling Yourself
Depression whispers, “You’re stuck here forever.”
But that’s not truth — that’s the fog talking.
Try this: Write one sentence that starts with “I’m learning…”
Example: I’m learning to trust myself again.
That one line can shift the current.
4. Let Go of the Messy Middle Timetable
Healing doesn’t come with a calendar reminder.
You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re right on time for your own journey.
Progress isn’t always visible — sometimes it’s just surviving the day.
5. Remember: The Messy Middle Isn’t the End
You might be under the wave right now, but this is just the messy middle — not forever.
The water will calm. The light will shift. You’ll find your breath again.
And when you do, you’ll realize you were stronger than you knew.
If you’re feeling stuck in your own messy middle, my Rising from Depression workbook was made for this exact season — 20 days of reflections, journal prompts, and Ruby Steps to help you rise gently back to yourself.
Because healing doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens one wave, one breath, one day at a time.
Follow our Instagram page for daily readings from the workbook.
And here is the article mentioned in our last podcast episode, “A Sunset Wish is Magical”
Lastly, here is this week’s podcast episode, “Why is the Middle of Depression so Messy?”
