Have you ever heard that God didn’t make you small? It might sound surprising because somewhere along the line, many of us—especially women—were sold a lie dressed up in a halo.
We were told that being “godly” meant being quiet. Submissive. Compliant. That if you were really holy, you’d keep the peace, never question authority, and absolutely never challenge the man of the house. Especially if that man was your husband. Or your pastor. Or your father.
This brand of so-called “holy obedience” has been used for centuries to keep women and children in harmful and abusive relationships. But I’m here to tell you this: God didn’t make you small!
When Obedience Becomes Oppression (Remember that God Didn’t Make You Small)
In many religious communities, submission is taught as the highest spiritual virtue for women. But what happens when that submission is demanded by someone who’s not acting in love, but in control?
What happens when “obedience” means staying in an emotionally, spiritually, or physically abusive relationship? When questioning your husband’s authority is considered rebellion—not wisdom?
I’ve lived that story. And let me tell you—obedience that costs you your voice, your safety, or your sanity isn’t holy. It’s harmful.
We were never meant to worship submission. We were meant to worship God.
The Twisting of Scripture
Let’s talk about the elephant in the pew: “Wives, submit to your husbands.” That one line from Ephesians 5:22 has been weaponized more times than I can count. What people forget (or conveniently ignore) is the verse that comes just before it:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Mutual submission. Shared respect. Love modeled after Christ’s selflessness—not domination.
The original meaning wasn’t about creating a hierarchy. It was about building a relationship where both people honor each other’s humanity. If someone is using the Bible to prop themselves up while pushing you down, that’s not God’s will—it’s spiritual abuse.
A Better Kind of Faith
True spiritual maturity isn’t about how well you follow rules. It’s about how deeply you love, how boldly you seek justice, and how courageously you walk in truth.
Let’s reclaim the virtues that really reflect God’s heart:
- Compassion: Even for yourself.
- Justice: Especially when it’s inconvenient.
- Wisdom: The kind that questions, wrestles, and grows.
- Courage: To walk away from what breaks you, even when it’s labeled “godly.”
You Are Not a Doormat—You Are a Child of God– God Didn’t Make You Small!
If you’ve been told that staying silent was a sign of faith…
If you were pressured to obey at the cost of your own well-being…
If you were ever taught that God would love you more if you suffered more—
I’m here to tell you: No.
God does not delight in your suffering. He does not hand out gold stars for enduring abuse. And He most certainly doesn’t want you to mistake oppression for obedience.
You are allowed to walk away from what harms you. You are allowed to question teachings that don’t sit right in your spirit. And you are allowed to protect your peace without feeling guilty.
Listen to our latest podcast, “Spiritual Gaslighting: Human Hands, Human Errors”
