Anxiety chokes like panic. This is my reality every day.
Halloween adds an extra layer to my anxiety. Fear clutches me as the world becomes an uncertain place filled with possible danger gathered in the most innocent corners.
But for the rest of the world, Halloween is a fun-filled time when people get to pretend to be someone else for an evening and embrace the adrenaline rush of ‘harmless’ scares and pranks.
A creepy scream.
A silly jump-scare.
An unreal vision of over-the-top violence.
These seemingly benign aspects of Halloween combine with my anxiety explosively. Mixed together, anxiety and Halloween can be a combustive combination. So, this year, I am asking for a little kindness.
Oil & Fire
If you’ve ever experienced a grease fire in the kitchen, you know that the results can be dramatic, to say the very least.
Cooking oil is not easily flammable, or it wouldn’t be used successfully for cooking. But when it heats up to its flashpoint, the oil will ignite quickly with a wicked flash and burn intensely.
Talk about shock and awe!
It’s similar to how a trigger ignites anxiety and causes it to burn intensely.
Amazingly, the entire Halloween season triggers feelings of anxiety and panic for me. My body holds tightly the memories of past years where people jump out and say, ‘boo!’ and scary masks give me the creeps with their brash anonymity.
All it takes is a spider web decoration stretched across a front porch to make me feel on edge: I’m waiting for something bad to happen. I can feel the flame getting closer to the oil.
When Anxiety’s Adrenaline Rush is Unhealthy
Fast breathing, sweaty palms, and a pounding heartbeat are things that happen when there is an adrenaline rush. For thrill-seekers, this rush can feel powerful and invigorating.
For someone dealing with anxiety, this triggers an acute physiological response called “fight or flight,” which includes:
- Increased heart rate
- Increased blood pressure
- Increased respiration rate
- Increased temperature
See how many systems are increased at higher than normal levels?
This is “fight or flight,” when your body dovetails into survival mode. Think of it in terms of the food chain: if you are being stalked by a predator set on eating you, you would need all of your body systems focusing on survival. It’s not the time to focus on digestion, knitting skills, or remembering a locker combination. Suddenly, every body system is devoted to simply staying alive.
Studies show that it can take a person 20 to 60 minutes to return back to normal patterns following an adrenaline rush.
But what if the adrenaline rush button is always on? What if there is no base level of calmness to return to, and you get stuck in a state of heightened awareness?
Your body is on constant high alert.
Muscles are poised to run and fight at any given moment.
Reactions are quick and instinctual. Survival becomes your top priority.
This quickly crosses into unhealthy territory. As important as it is to have an emergency response to deal with danger, there also needs to be a recovery phase so the body can resume using oxygen and blood for typical body functions. Otherwise, your health will be negatively affected.
The Ebb & Flow of Anxiety
This title is misleading. “Ebb and flow” sounds idealistically like gentle waves rocking back and forth. The ebb and flow of anxiety is quite different than that idyllic scene.
My anxiety is not always at a constant level; it changes. Sometimes, it’s high, sometimes, not so high, but it is always simmering just below the flashpoint. Ready to ignite explosively.
Here are some things that can send my body into fight or flight:
- The unexpected roar of a motorcycle
- fireworks
- A loud ringtone
- A not-so-loud ringtone
- The thump of a dog’s tail wagging
- A slight movement in my peripheral vision
Now imagine that on top of these common things, my body must filter and process scary decorations, loud screams and cackles, and unexpected, jumpy movements assaulting my senses.
These common occurrences during Halloween keep me on the edge of that flashpoint. I’m ready to spark intensely and dramatically at any given moment.
Kindness This Halloween
Not everyone enjoys being scared. Some of us are already scared.
Let’s all be kind and patient with ourselves and others. If you love the excitement of Halloween, good for you! But please be compassionate towards those of us who are struggling to feel safe. If you, like me, suffer from anxiety, give yourself permission to protect yourself this year. You don’t have to go to that wild party, trick-or-treat at that scary house, or watch a horror movie with your friends. Make yourself your top priority by keeping the flame away from the oil.
Do you have any tips to share about protecting your anxiety from the holidays? Please share in the comments!
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