HEALING FROM DEPRESSION
I am dealing with a betrayal deeper than I ever thought possible–by the one person who had promised to love me unconditionally. It’s more than I can bear, and I feel hopeless and helpless. When entrenched in dark days, healing from depression seems out of reach, unattainable–a fool’s dream. And when I look at such a hopeless task ahead of me I wonder why I should exhaust myself trying to claw out of the abyss.
I’ll tell you why; because we deserve to thrive in the light, not wither in the dark.
When the thick leaves of depression suffocate me, I feel trapped in a huge, menacing forest with no way out. I’ve stumbled into a dark place full of danger at every turn: vines of shamefulness smother me; thick, gnarled trees trap me; aggressive predators- just out of sight- stalk me and cause my heart to thump loudly with fear. Welcome to The Forest of Despair.
THE FOREST OF DESPAIR PREVENTS HEALING FROM DEPRESSION
No, The Forest of Despair is not some fantasy land from a fairy tale that a hero gallantly travels through on the way to victory. Sadly, my imagination has created this place from my depression. It is dark, ugly, torturous, and unforgiving. I run headlong into the forest because I get overwhelmed with sadness: when I mess-up something important; when my confidence is shaken to the core; when I’ve felt the cruel slap of betrayal from someone I love; when I am ready to give up.
During times of emotional distress I wander into this thick, tangled foliage and get overwhelmed by its enormity. I lose sight of the entrance and get lost. There’s no way out. I give up and settle into a small, weepy puddle of toxic gloominess. Once in the grasp of deep depression, it’s very difficult to start the journey of healing. Depression makes us stuck.
DEPRESSION
A depressed person may experience changes in sleep, appetite, enjoyment of activities, self-esteem, concentration, and energy levels. This link has a description of depression plus a quiz about depression symptoms: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm
Depression is a quicksand of immobility; once stuck, it’s hard to get out. It is actually easier to stay stuck, sinking further and further down in misery than it is to do the hard work of pulling myself out. But all I need to do is take one little step – one tiny movement forward, and I can start healing from depression. That sounds too simplistic to work, but sometimes “the simple thing” is the only thing I have the strength to do.
Depression will attack me if I don’t move out of the forest, so I need to forge a new path. How do I take steps to get out of the forest when the thought of climbing through the thick foliage sounds impossible? I use a visualization strategy – The Path and Puff.
PATH
How can I get out of the Forest of Despair once I have become stuck in it? There isn’t a visitor’s center handing out road maps and directions on how to navigate this tangled mess of bitter feelings. In fact, there isn’t another soul in this lonely, bleak place. I am lost, all alone, and can’t find my way back.
So – here’s a radical thought – let’s not go back the way we came in!
When I’ve emotionally stumbled into a dark place, I usually overlook the fact that no matter how big and overwhelming the forest seems to be, I can always find a different way out. Just because I entered the forest on the south side doesn’t mean that I can’t exit from the north or east or west side, right?
Of course, each path will take its own route: some faster, some slower, some easier, some more complicated. But it doesn’t matter which route I choose. The important thing to remember is that I just need to move. I know for certain is that I WILL STAY STUCK if I stay in one place and never move. But the moment I forge a new path, I take the power of my healing into my own hands. I JUST NEED TO MOVE.
- Step One – pick a way to take the first step. Even if the old adage of “Two steps forward, one step back” holds true, you need to move. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to stay stuck.
PUFF
PUFF: a short burst of breath or wind. A small puff of air can set into motion all the spokes of a dandelion bloom. They lift, float, and cartwheel in the direction the puff has sent them.
Now that I have picked a direction to move in, next I NEED TO MOVE. I need to lift, float and cartwheel onto my new path like the dandelion. All that is needed is a little puff. One small, tiny, EASY doable thing that can be accomplished right now. (This is not the time to make a huge list of chronological steps to be taken. I need something little that I can accomplish right away that will get me moving in the right direction while building my confidence.)
2. Step Two – Choose something easy to accomplish right away that will create momentum towards healing.
PATH AND PUFF
Choose a path; start to move. Simplicity at its best! My struggle with a loved one’s betrayal had me stuck in the forest of despair with all loss of joy. I couldn’t find a way to smile. Happiness was elusive. It was completely up to me to get myself out of this funk. Leaning into my fragile feelings, I decided I was struggling most with feeling unworthy of kindness.
- I found my path (the direction I needed to move in) – The need to feel worthy of kindness; I need to feel the warm shine of the gift of kindness.
- I found my puff (The conscious action to begin the momentum)- I made a simple phone call. I called an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while. I didn’t discuss the betrayal that had rocked my world, or even my state of depression. Instead, I reached out to someone I knew could make me smile. I chased after a bit of kindness.
Hesitantly, step-by-step, I emerged from the deep shadows of the Forest of Despair and began travelling towards healing from depression.
Wouldn’t it be glorious to feel the comforting hug of confidence wrap around you right now? Join me on the journey of healing from depression. We can encourage one another and lift each other up. If you find yourself stuck in the Forest of Despair, practice a little Path and Puff. Step-by-step; Path and Puff; begin to move out of the dark. Let’s thrive in the light together!
If you are in a place where you are ready to join a support group for depression, help is out there. Here is a link that can help you find options near you:
https://www.mhanational.org/find-support-groups
If you or someone you know is feeling depression so severely that there are suicidal thoughts, don’t wait; get help right away. There is a national hotline that can help:
